Understanding Listening..

For those that know me, you know that I am currently in a position where I have a lot of time on my hands. If not, let me tell you. Since Oct 1st, I have been unemployed and spending my time open to what every journey would present itself. I have been volunteering my time with a few organizations in Ft Wayne and in Baltimore, MD, helping in all sorts of ways. From marketing & communications issues to stocking shelves at a food bank.

I've been learning a lot about what it means to truly listen and ask for guidance from the Holy Spirit. As Christ followers and church attending individuals, we are constantly urged to create space to make this happen. We all get pumped up and try to do this and succeed at times and if you are anything like me, you get discouraged more about your lack of doing this. Well, when you're unemployed and open to this, it's amazing to see what happens.

I feel like I've learned a lot about space for listening in the last 6 weeks. I've got way more to learn, but I'm seeing what space for listened looks like. Some of the things that I've been learning and challenged by have been from the Holy Spirit moving and my position to hear them. Three months ago, there was no space for listening. Just 100mph lifestyle.

There was only space for rest. the only time i had was for resting and it's not the same as giving space for listening for the Holy Spirit. Listening is beyond rest. In my experience, we need to be rested in order for our body and mind to be open for listening. It's in those extended times of silence recently that I've been aware of some really great things from the spirit.

I have been toying with the idea of a non-profit marketing firm partnering with a for-profit firm. For me, this was a spirit led thing. I have no clue how to make this happen, i just know it's a worth-while venture that needs to be pursued for some reason. it may not be about creating a non-profit, but for something else.

the spirit led me to having lunch with the executive director of the food bank which led to sending a resume to the city. i hadn't thought about civil duty at being a place of positioning. i definitely wasn't thinking about this while i was a BIG. I was just thinking about myself.

the biggest thing I'm learning from this time, is the fact or the question of, "how does anyone do this and make a living and keep commitments?"

if you have to work 40-50 hrs, be a part of this and that, where is the space to for rest and even past that, listening? i have no idea how to sustain a full time job and be open to listen and not only just listen, but pursue those spirit led initiatives. i even believe that we do hear the spirit but are no where even close to being in a position to pursue it.

And, if we do, it's costly if we do. It costs jobs, money, time, relationships, ridicule, shame, anxiety, maybe everything, and certainly everything that is known or comfortable.

This is a reason why my journey is long. I am just becoming aware of this and will think about this throughout my life and will struggle to give space. I do know now that it is crucial to a spirit filled life..